The Farmer's Greatest Asset Podcast
The Farmer's Greatest Asset podcast is dedicated to supporting and empowering farmers by recognizing that their greatest assets are the knowledge, experience, mind and health. Hosted by husband-and-wife duo Jesse and Dr. Leah, this podcast combines their unique backgrounds to provide valuable insights. Together, they explore topics that help farmers thrive both personally and professionally. Tune in for a blend of practical advice, real conversations, while having a little fun along the way as they talk about all thing's agriculture and family.
The Farmer's Greatest Asset Podcast
Growing Together: One Road Trip at a Time
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Jesse and Leah reflect on how their relationship has evolved over 19 years of marriage, from surviving the chaos of early careers and parenthood to finding deeper connection through everyday moments.
• Finding quality time together has transformed from quarterly weekend getaways to valued truck rides and morning coffee conversations
• When feeling disconnection in relationships, look inward first to see how you're feeling about yourself
• Personal growth comes from recognizing when you're blaming others for obstacles you've created yourself
• The foundation of being lovable to others is learning to love yourself first
• Growth in relationships often comes from addressing core limiting beliefs about worthiness and self-value
• Learning to approach challenges with a "this is happening for us" mindset rather than victimhood
• The importance of looking beyond surface frustrations to find the root causes of relationship friction
Please like and share the podcast, subscribe, and find us on social media at Farmer's Greatest Asset or email us at farmersgreatest.asset@gmail.com.
Introduction and Farm Life Balance
Speaker 1The Farmer's Greatest Asset podcast. We believe the farm's greatest asset is the farmer their knowledge, experience, mind and health. Welcome back to the podcast. I'm Jesse.
Speaker 2And I'm Dr Leah.
Speaker 1Well, today we had a little parts run adventure, so three and a half hours one way to the place we're headed to, and for me it was kind of a great debate, like do I stay at home or do I go?
Speaker 2On one hand, we usually get a lot of work done like thought, like big ideas, thinking through things, talking through things. On the other hand, lucy was getting her chickens today. We got the chicken and the ducks, so that was a big, big day for her. She's been waiting for months and months to get these chicks and was super excited about that. Luckily, they came in right before we were leaving so we could get both of them done to be here.
Speaker 2Yeah, that was cool we're gonna have lots of eggs in six to nine months 69 months, no.
Speaker 1Six to nine, oh, wow, our kids animated oh 629. Oh wow, Our kid's animated movie is coming out again.
Speaker 2An oldie, but a goodie.
Speaker 1So anyway, on our little trip that's for you and I. It's kind of good quality time, but we get a lot of good discussions in.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1While on the road and we stopped on the way home for a sit-down meal rather than just fast food. One a little. It was still restaurant food, but it was maybe a little healthier than fast food, maybe, yeah a little it was a better option.
Speaker 2We got out of the truck too. That was nice.
Speaker 1Right, but while we were there it was kind of come to you about how our quality time together has changed or evolved over the years.
Speaker 2Yeah, so we started kind of talking about how, when the kids were little and babies like life was crazy, it was really crazy. I was building my practice, you were beginning farming.
Speaker 1I would say, Beginning farming was I. Yeah, we were just back for a couple years. I was coming back to the farm full time.
Lost in Work and Marriage
Speaker 2Right and my life was extreme.
Speaker 1Like the call schedule is extreme, very busy, lots of babies, babies, babies, babies babies at home, babies at work, rural obstetrics and gynecology was crazy busy for you yeah, it was like 36 hours working 12, 12 hours off.
Speaker 2Yeah, it was a very busy time and so when we were talking about it earlier, it just led me to think how lost, how lost I got in my life and how I was really just surviving from day to day and there was no thriving at all, like I felt totally lost.
Speaker 1You also were an obstetrician, that you wanted updates every hour every hour. So it was if you had somebody in labor, you had phone calls all night long, and babies never come during the day. So then you were basically gone. You'd come home for dinner or supper, get a little time in with the kids, then you're back at the hospital.
Speaker 2After they went to bed.
Speaker 2I tried to be home for those few hours and then I would just go back and stay at the hospital because inevitably you slept better if, if I wasn't getting phone calls all night anyway, point is you were crazy busy yeah, I, it was a it's kind of a blur, but I really felt lost in that time, like I don't even remember, like I don't know who I was then, like everything that I thought my life would be was not what I thought it was. So, in that conversation that we were having, it really made me realize how lost we can get in a marriage and in our work and I truly was a workaholic.
Speaker 1Still are.
Speaker 2I think that I was more dysfunctional in it then. Now I feel like I'm more of a thriving workaholic. Maybe I don't know. Maybe it's because I feel like I'm doing what I am aligned with doing.
Speaker 1Right, so that's the whole point of this conversation, in that you and I have both evolved individually and collectively.
Evolution of Quality Time Together
Speaker 2So as we were talking about that, we talked about how our time together has evolved, not only as our jobs have changed, but also as the kids have gotten older. So when the kids were little, it was completely necessary for you to take me away from Southeast Iowa for a weekend every quarter, so I could at least sleep.
Speaker 1You would sleep.
Speaker 2And we would basically go to Chicago or St Louis or Kansas City, somewhere we could drive and we would go out to eat in the evening, Otherwise I would sleep. That's pretty much all we did was sleep. So true. When the kids were younger, we did that. We didn't really go out. We've really kind of always taken our kids with us, except for those weekends.
Speaker 1Well, it's important for husband and wife. If you want to do a date night or do something, I mean that's important. And when our kids were little and you were so crazy busy and I was coming back to the farm and then started getting cows, so not only was I doing obstetrics, but you also started doing obstetrics, which was like 40 minutes from home, 45 minutes round trip Right so it was. Checking cows at night was rough.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1But then we would do those little trips, which is good. There was one point we would we were going out every new year's eve, just you and I, to dinner and we would do yearly goals and say how we're going to do date night once a month. And I don't know if it ever happened once a month. But since then we have both grown and now our quality time, we have realized our quality time is really in the seat of the truck, the pickup.
Speaker 2Or our coffee time in the mornings.
Speaker 1Which has been. There's a lot of good conversations and coffee on the porch.
Speaker 2Yeah, and that really started probably about five years ago after I left medicine A lot more after the kids. We started homeschooling after the kids were out of school. You know we weren't getting up early to have to get them to school and you and I could have more alone time together.
Speaker 1Well, we're both early risers so we tend to get up and get our coffee and enjoy the morning and have good talks, and it wasn't really necessarily about what's going to happen during the day, it's just kind of good talks and that was the whole basis of us on the podcast having Coffee on the Porch segments, because we have a lot of good things that come out of that as we grow.
Self-Reflection and Relationship Growth
Speaker 2We can kind of show you how we've done it now. We have definitely had our ups and downs through our marriage and our own struggles, and both mentally and physically.
Speaker 2And really, the one thing that strikes me is when I have felt most at odds with you. It has really been that I have wanted to put that responsibility on you when it actually was. I was at odds with who I was allowing and what I was allowing in my life, that I wasn't putting my boundaries out. So therefore, I wasn't getting what I wanted and I wasn't actually even voicing to you what I wanted, I just blamed you.
Speaker 1You were mad at me before you would even.
Speaker 2Before I even told you what I wanted. Right, it was a struggle for quite some time. Then, once I really delved into and you would, all you would say about other things, like when someone, when someone is blaming someone else and pointing a finger at them, they have three fingers pointing back at so at themselves.
Speaker 2And so, you know, I it kind of came full circle where I would be like, well, you don't let me do this. And you know, I have this in my mind and I'm telling myself Jesse doesn't let me do this, and Jesse doesn't let me do that, and like I hadn't even asked him, and I just think that I had all of these obstacles in my way, but they were all obstacles that I put in my way and used you as an excuse as to why I wasn't doing what I wanted to do, and in all actuality, I'm sure it had to do. I know it had to do with my own feeling of unworthiness.
Speaker 1I was just going to say. It really kind of leads to you have to love yourself to be lovable. If you don't feel that you are lovable how can somebody love you?
Speaker 2It's easier for me to say, oh, I love you and I love this about you and I love my kids, but am I really loving myself? And and a big part of that is, am I taking care of me? And it really made me realize how much I was not taking care of myself and how only through putting myself first and what I really want in my life by doing that, it brought me closer to you, yeah, and improving our relationship. So it's interesting that my biggest struggle in our relationship is my inadequacy of communicating what I really needed and taking care of myself.
Speaker 1Most generally. That's the issue. The problem, what's going on is the lack of communication and wanting something from someone but not giving clear expectations, and I know that's. I do that same thing to you, and then you point it out to me, and then that irritates me more, and irritate is a kind word, so now I would.
Speaker 2In our relationship, when it feels like we are not connected, we have lack of connection, I first step back and think how am I feeling about me? Because if I don't, if I'm not feeling right where I'm at in my life, that's when it affects our relationship. So it's usually not that you and I aren't getting along, but I'm not getting along with myself and I'm just pointing a finger at you. You're an easy scapegoat for me, I guess.
Speaker 1I have big shoulders.
Learning to Love Ourselves First
Speaker 2But it never happens the other way no.
Speaker 1I'm sure talking about which you're talking about. So, yeah, we get some pretty deep conversations and we have learned to value those road trips, those parts runs like we did today as we're growing together it's, rather than those date nights. We've kind of taken these opportunities to have some good quality time and 19 years of growth.
Speaker 2I think we've done a lot of moving the needle in the last four years four to five years I've been out of medicine. For six and a half years.
Speaker 1Practicing traditional medicine.
Speaker 2Right out of practicing traditional medicine. Yes, Still delving into learning all about functional medicine and how to heal your body with nature.
Speaker 1Put good in, get good out. So good thoughts provide good results too, right?
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1Put good food in, get good results out, put good thoughts in and good communication. A lot of good comes out of that.
Speaker 2What about you? You have anything to share as far as growth and what changes you've made to improve our relationship.
Speaker 1Of late. It's really, as I've said in the past, just being grateful for everything. Even the small things have really helped me not just survive, but start thriving.
Speaker 2Can I voice one thing I've seen as a change. If you've had a bad day on the farm, I can at least point out to you that you're not acting in your highest self and you will accept that that is a definite change.
Speaker 1I'm a work in progress, babe.
Speaker 2As am I?
Speaker 1Aren't we all yeah, so I'm learning to deal with things better. You know, like the breakdown we had today, it was significant. And I didn't lose my mind, did I? No, not at all, I was just more focused on resolving the issue and getting it done.
Speaker 2Well, and I think whenever there is a mishap, especially if it's a big thing, the first thing that I go to is this is happening for us.
Speaker 1What can we learn from this little catastrophe? You got to learn from your mistakes. It wasn't even a mistake today, it's just. You got to learn from everything.
Speaker 2Well and accidents happen. We can either learn and grow or we can victimize.
Speaker 1Perseverate make it worse.
Speaker 2Lord knows I have done my fair share of that.
Speaker 1So I guess the point of the whole conversation we're having is just find value in those little times that you can have good conversations and love yourself first, be lovable and know what those obstacles are that you're putting out there.
Finding Value in Small Moments
Speaker 2And really try and find the root of what it is, because usually when you are frustrated or mad or upset at something about something, I should say that isn't the big thing that you're really frustrated at. You got to peel back those layers of the onion to really see what's getting at you and it usually will go down to your core, limiting beliefs Like I'm unworthy, I'm unlovable, I'm not cared for, finding what those are. When you start seeing those patterns, you can start seeing those patterns in yourself and then you realize that that's one more thing that you know is not true and you can just start aligning your mental facilities to become more in tune with what the truth is. I am lovable, I am cared for, I am worthy.
Speaker 1So with that, thank you for listening. As always, go out and like and share the podcast.
Speaker 2Subscribe.
Speaker 1Find us on all the socials at farmer's greatest asset and we love hearing from all of you, so send us a message at farmer's greatest asset. At gmailcom it is a good day to have a great day bye.
